Category Archives: Self Ramblings

This blog is a way to express my life and my thoughts through the topics that are shared everyday. Enjoy!

Dream in Color


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Scientifically, dreams are supposed to be in black and white, the color completely drained from the story being told in your own mind. My dreams are never in black and white. I have more colors in my imagination than I have ever been able to find or recreate. I feel my dreams in my heart and on my skin and they linger with me for days at a time, and some even stay with me for years. I have grown accustomed to these dreams and have fallen for their adventures. The dream I have chosen to share with you now has been with me for 10 years.

Her eyes flutter open heavily, the weight they held was so immense that she thought sleep would take her again. She fought the urge to allow herself to sleep when she realized that she was not in her bed. In fact, she wasn’t even indoors. As the thought occurred to her to feel frightened, she couldn’t. Her heart remained steady in her chest and her breathing calm.

The chill of the night air swept over her skin and the grass beneath her head glowed with the soft light of the lanterns above her. She was surrounded by bushes of roses of any color. Not just every color, but colors that she had never seen before. The roses were such a deep purple that they nearly glowed black, or a red that shined gold, and a blue that sparkled with stars.

She sat up slowly, stretching her arms into the air over her as she inspected the garden around her. The sky was gone, hidden by a glass surface that shared the galaxy beyond her world. As her arms drifted back to her sides she let her legs dangle off of the soft grass platform that had held her sleeping form and slid the extra few inches to the ground to stand.

The large square cobblestones beneath her feet were so meticulous that they must have been hand made. Kneeling, she realized there were words inscribed within the stone, her fingers grazed the engravings and felt the smooth surface of a gloss finish over each stone within reaching distance. The words read her dreams, her wishes, her hopes, and none of her fears.

“I would never want you to fear this place.” A deep melodic voice came near her and his soft footsteps echoed along the stones. She looked up at him and slowly stood to inspect the speaker. His eyes were a kind sea blue and his short light blonde curls were a contrast against the black button up shirt that he wore. He was slender but obviously fit with regal high cheekbones. “I am not afraid.” She whispered. She checked her heartbeat in her chest and though it was now racing it was not fueled by the adrenaline of fear. She knew she was happy to see him, though she could not remember him.

He offered his arm to her and she slipped her hand through and cupped his forearm, his free hand protectively resting over her hand. The warmth of his skin chasing away the chill of the air. She looked up to him then and saw that while he was kind he was sad. A sorrow beyond anything she had ever felt threatened to destroy her just at the look in his eyes. He smiled softly, lifting the pain from his eyes and led her through the garden and the colors grew brighter at their approach. Brilliant, unimaginable beauty, bloomed before her. The smile she felt pulled from her heart, deep within her soul.

They walked in the glory of this world silent, but it was a content silence. Words were not something they needed. She knew, as if she had always known, they could spend an eternity in complete silence and always know everything of one another. His hand gently pressed more firmly against hers and it told her that he was pleased by her reaction to the garden. It had been created for her, nurtured and perfected with a never ending love, for her. The stones were created at the birth of her desires, and the colors were born of her imagination, the roses nurtured from her heart and fed by her passion.

He turned so they would face each other. After hours of spending silent time together, “It’s time for you to wake now.” His voice was a sad caress, loving and beautiful but full of terribly sorrow. She rested her head against his chest and whispered, “I want to stay…” His hand brushed through her hair, never tangling and always comforting. “Come here when you wish, love. Just think of your garden and you’ll be here, but for now, you must wake.” She looked up to meet his eyes, his hands moving to rest gently along the sides of her face. He brushed her lips lightly with his own.

A click always sounded just before the stereo would kick on, and for the life of me I never understood why that would always be what would wake me up, and not the music that followed. I slipped from my bed and proceeded throughout the day with a heavy heart. I think I knew it the moment I woke, or even within the dream, that to this day, and no matter how much I wish it, I have never been able to return.

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Filed under Kindnapped by Imagination, Self Ramblings, Short Stories

My Escape…


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I was born an artist, a dancer, a believer, a singer, but most of all I was born a writer. I draw and paint and create, but it is only within my words can I truly escape. 

I bury myself in my books, dreaming of passion that can only be written, and tales that can only be dreamed of. This is my escape.

My drive is my dream, my motivations come from my readers, and my inspiration is purely within my imagination. I sleep, wake, and breathe my stories. This, is my escape. 

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I’m Incredibly Awkward…


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The printer had jammed again. Seriously, this mammoth of a machine has the most difficult time just feeding itself paper. I stare at it, thinking that it’s lucky it isn’t actually alive otherwise it would starve itself from incompetence. I start pushing the touch screen to move it on to its next bright idea, another useless solution for me to attempt to unjam it.

Since it is the third time in the last hour this particular machine had jammed I automatically work my way through the list and pull drawers that it says are blocked but they really aren’t and shake the ink cartridge because it thinks this brand new one is empty. Through some wondrous stroke of luck it just starts printing. I glare at it as the image floods my brain of this cartoonish machine as it  giggles like a dumbass and says “Oh! I totally forgot what I was doing! I’m sooo A.D.D. sometimes. How many more do I have to print for you?” It’s fictional smile sends a wave of heat through my face as I control every urge to kick it multiple times.

“Hey! You got it to work! I should just call you over whenever things break instead of IT.” Reality punched me in the gut and his voice nearly made me jump, and I seriously worried that my fictional dialog wasn’t showing on my not-so-secretive face. “Heh…” I cough out, “Just going through the list of things it thinks are wrong.” I think I smiled… Honestly, I’m not sure. I may have looked away too…

Out of the corner of my eye I see my co-worker walk away to another co-worker, “Alexis is some kind of master at everything.” I look up and literally pout! Seriously, no joke! My lip stuck out like an offering to a bird for a perch! He looked horror-struck. “Aw! Don’t give me THAT look. I meant it as a compliment.” He offered me a genuine smile and not only did I feel completely stupid for my reaction, but I felt that I needed to explain myself. “I… It’s just… I’m not a master at EVERYTHING.” I attempted and noticed that my voice sounded oddly strange and not at all like myself. The comment hadn’t offended me in the slightest, but what it had done was make me feel like an ass. Some know-it-all. I have no idea why, nor do I believe he understood it either, but at that moment I let out one hell of an awkward half laugh and fled the village. I ran. Well, not literally, but I did walk away rather briskly.

As I sat back at my desk, completely horrified by my actions I played the scene over and over in my head. Witty quips that I should have said but instead I metaphorically tripped over my own tongue and crashed onto my face. What on earth is wrong with me?! I forgot my copies at the printer.

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Filed under Inside the Padded Walls, Self Ramblings

The Phoenix Comic Convention


The second I open the door I am greeted by a massive wave of people. I bite the tip of my tongue to escape the shock and glance very briefly back to my group. My husband met my eyes but quickly looked away. “You can handle this.” the look told me and I turn toward the crowd and take my first steps. 

Wading through this on my own would have been easy. I’m small and very quick and I have no problem weaving in and through tight groups of people if it means I will progress further and closer to my destination. However, I was with family. If I were to zig and zag through these people I would surely lose them and luck wouldn’t be what would bring us back together. Desperate searching would and that would waste the precious time we had all planned. 

My husband obviously sensed this in me as he shouldered next to me and we walked quickly and with the expressions of people with intent and serious purpose and the wave split. Convention goers moved out of our way like the parting of the red sea. People dressed in all manner of costumes fluttered about and it was only those whom hadn’t looked behind them that unintentionally blocked our way past but they were easily avoided. 

We made it to the vendor’s hall and paused. The booths of nerd heaven ascended before us and one couldn’t possibly see through the river of costumed geekery that danced and squealed throughout the main hall. We had arrived  We survived the treacherous roads that led us to the end of our quest and now our costly prize was ours to patron. 

The Phoenix Comic Convention this year was beyond packed! We were there both Saturday and Sunday and not only did we all get to meet and greet our favorite authors and artists but by the end of Saturday we even went to a book release party where we were fortunate enough to even hang out with some of these creators of imagination.

*Please click on the images to go to these author’s/artist’s websites.

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Jessica Feinberg, a Tucson local artist and good friend of mine was very generous and gave my husband and I passes to the convention and in return we were there to help her out in any way possible. Drinks, food, deliveries to other people at the convention, whatever. Jessica is a FANTASTIC artist! She pretty much draws and paints anything. Check out her website and see what I mean!

ImageI met Janni Lee Simner earlier this year at the Tucson Festival of Books, turns out we have a mutual friend, small world. She is the fabulous author of the highly recommended Bones of the Faire series and she just released her new book Faire After, the final book in this series. We were fortunate enough to attend her book release party where my sister Lindsey won Simner’s entire collection AND tickets to next year’s comic convention!

ImageI also met Jeff Marriotte at this years Tucson Festival of Books. He is one of the few authors that can relate with his fan’s different interests. My husband, whom is a complete science geek loves his books and Marriotte is one of the few authors that my husband will actually sit down and read the entire book in two days. I have a great interest in the psychology within his books and may have shared this fascination with my Mom. I highly recommend his book The Slab and Season of The Wolf.

ImageRob Osborne (the Absolute Tyrant) and I met a few years back at the 2008 Phoenix Comic Convention where he was gracious enough to work a commision for me of Gwen Stacey. We became friends on the classic website MySpace (I know, super dead) but lost touch shortly after we both forgot  our passwords or just lost interest in MySpace all together. He writes and illustrates his own comics and I highly recommend reading his Zango series about a supervillain striving to take over the world whilst in his pajamas.

ImageFrank Beddor is the author of the Looking Glass Wars series. I met Frank Beddor at the 2008 Phoenix Comic Con when he was publicizing his first book. I had been walking by nearly missing him when he captured my attention by pulling us over and bursting into his story. He fascinated me with his excitement for his story and the passion he shared with his potential readers. I bought his first novel then and there and have been hooked ever since. Definitely a Must Read!

While I love staying with family here in Phoenix I just can’t wait to get home and start reading all of the wonderful books and comics I purchased from the above authors. Tomorrow is most definitely going to be a pajamas and a book day. I love this weekend!

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Filed under Book Reviews, Family Adventures, Self Ramblings

Book Review of Honor Among Thieves by Elaine Cunningham


I had the opportunity last month to have a chat with and take advice from some of the best writers out there. One of the most prominent things they all told me was “Write every day, if you can’t write, read, and read often and consistently.” I’m now on my third book since this advise was given. I took this advise very seriously, since I myself dream of being a real writer and sharing my stories in paper form with the world, and I have come to the decision that I will start writing full reviews of these books. In an attempt to expand my writing skills and hopefully get back on board with what you all expect from me, and what I expect from myself.

Unfortunately, my first review was a true dumbfounding experience. I can honestly say I may have lost something of myself by finishing this book. Which is such a disappointment, Elaine Cunningham, a very successful fantasy author actually wrote this book. I even suspect that she may have really written this book when she was 15 and only just decided to share it, claiming she wrote it much later on in life. Oh Elaine, I wish you hadn’t.

ImageI didn’t enjoy much of this book. The story is confusing and a lot of the time I found myself turning back to previous chapters to re-read something, for clarification and it was still unclear.

This book felt like an unfinished manuscript. Words were duplicated, jumbled, or incorrect all together, misspellings, and incoherent verbiage made this a difficult read, at best.

Did Vishni throw the dagger into the ocean? Because I read that she did, and yet it’s with them in the end. At what point did you find out the big geared secret about Honor, because I must have missed this startling realization until Fox is explaining it to the others. It is no doubt why these books are e-read only, they’re unfinished and rushed and the plot was not fully thought through.

I can tell there were some worthy ideas in there but they were not implemented. It is almost as if she had an idea, a brilliant idea of cons, mischief, and cleverness, and then forgot it half way through.

Ernest Hemmingway once said “The first draft of anything is shit”, and I do believe he was spot-on, but maybe even the final product, unedited, is still shit.

I really desired to be proficient in writing a much more intelligent review, a more fleshed-out review, but in fact I have nothing else to say.

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Remember


Every 1st draft is shit. -Hemingway.

Hi readers! I would like to announce that I am about to post a new short story but would also like to notify you that it’s not my typical post. It’s still in editing, which I suspect it will be in that position for a little bit, even though it’s only 2 pages but when I’m done it will be worth it.

xoxo,
Lex

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Writing and people falling from the sky


The good news is that I was able to get a few chapters complete. The bad news is that it was not on the story I previously wanted to work on. Have you ever had a story just run away with you? No matter what I did I couldn’t get the scenes out of my head and the characters wrote themselves. I have no idea what I’m going to do with the plot, but so far it seems to have come up with it’s own story. I’ve seen famous writers talk about this in regards to a few of their books but I honestly didn’t take them seriously. I find it absolutely hilarious that the story that I’ve been working on for a long time is stuck, while this new story is screaming to be noticed.

 

On another completely separate topic…

Dear people who live in the apartment above mine. I understand that you are overweight… and in comparison to myself a bit on the tall side, but please stop jumping up and down in your upstairs apartment. I’m tired of fixing my picture frames and I’m pretty sure that thing that just fell off the ceiling was a paint chip. If you fall through the floor due to your own lack of prep and fall on my awesome stone coffee table… it’s not my fault. ❤

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